Injectables

A modern world dilemma and a collection of selfies

The fashion industry should pay for my injectables, because what in the world?! If it was not to work for them I would not be so stubborn about a tight face being the definition of beauty. I mean, I started modeling when I was sixteen and then ended up being a makeup artist and basically painted on the youngest canvas. As by products, I am always pictures ready and I can cause endless photoshoots.

During my successful career, I’ve seen a lot of things. I also dealt with some male photographers who were hitting on young models and would make jokes about me in my thirties saying that “I am not so young anymore.” Funny enough these men looked like dinosaurs. Their young wives were cherry picked on strategic trips to third world countries and in a fair world they would never have had a chance with them. But ok, everyone has the freedom to show if their colours. That’s also true. Damn I wish I could give names but I’m better than that and I’m also secretly hoping that maybe these men are no longer around. Oups!.

All this bullying happened in my thirties when I looked like a puppy and let me tell you that even now in my forties my skin is uber smooth and people still act surprised that I’m someone’s mom. It’s almost weird, but then I remember I grew up in Romania with fresh food from my grandpa’s garden and I wasn’t allowed sweet drinks sweets in general and everything was organic before the supermarkets in the West started making this distinction between the state of our food.

And to wrap this story up since I am a woman of our times who likes all things music and fashion related I know how to dress so that I look forever younger and my bangs are in my top five tips and tricks of “how to look ageless”.

I seriously consider myself a cool chick. Secretly an OG, haha! I look up to Patti Smith and Vivienne Westwood when it comes to aging. I love how they own it! But I also really can stare for hours at Hollywood stars and the whole entertainment industry in general because of the fact that we are surrounded. I watch movies with porcelain skin actresses like Emma Stone who was already looking gorgeous and who now took it to level ten out of ten with a couple of close to invisible retouches. And Emma, my sister, plays in movies that I consider elite. At night I also stare at Cardi B’s make over on Instagram, until I collapse. Got a problem?! lol.

A part of me associated injectables with women with bad taste but that is only because of how the procedures looked until recently. Also I associated them with the Kardashian gang, but you see even this lucky family that ran into fame now found the right people who inserted a bit of taste in them and showed them procedures that look more natural. And of course they did, because money, but still. They are models for how not to and how to after you did and it all went fifty shades of wrong. So it’s encouraging to watch and impossible for me not to think that a touch up here and there would be nice.

I am writing this article because I love to talk about this subject and I see it often popping here on Substack. I love everyone’s point of view and especially women who support staying natural.

For a while now, I am making a survey on the go on this topic, between the women I love and look up to and a couple of celebs that I like, such as mama Julianne Moore who looks incredible in her mid fifties. This survey has been ongoing for quite a couple of years, since I am not in a hurry to get injectables, but now since I turned forty I feel like my research is getting closer to “who does a good job in the city”. As a matter of fact, the other week I found myself coming home with two numbers after asking my top notch hairdresser and a friend who has a very subtle job done who I should go to.

I think my mind is made up. I am down for plastic surgery in time. And I want to put it out there because I know that so many women have this dilemma. Should I leave my face as it is and fight my insecurities or should I do some little things and feel confident even if it is not a feministic move?

Everything we hold on to tight will hurt us. Even feminism. If you go against your will, just to support a mass movement that you only associate with in general terms, it does not mean that you do not have the right to choose what to do with your money and your body. Personally I like to look hot ( wow, making Paris Hilton proud again here). I am used to it and it is a bit of a problem, because I know how many extra doors I can open just because of the way I look. Also to be honest most of my life I did not really realize I had an advantage and now that I do I want to milk it. I want to be a timeless baddie and I already became better at giving less fucks about what people think. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what reasons have to do it, I do this for me.

Honestly what does it matter what they think and why do these celebs not just show that they had this and that done so we all know what to ask for when we go to a surgeon? It is still a taboo to wish to look beautiful in an unnatural way while we grew up in a bit of a sick environment where women get rewarded most when they have symmetrical features.

So yeah, can I call this stigma? If or when I get injectables I will flaunt it. As in do you know how much money it takes to entertain a hobby like this. A lot and I made it.

I feel loved and I wish to feel desired and adored and I am shallow. At least at this moment of my life. But also when I have my breakthrough I truly want to shine and not be afraid to be in pictures. Because it is a thing and I am not perfect like that. I am allowed to have insecurities too while living in a society where the fountain of youth has forever been a quest. And of course now when it seems to be needed the most in the time of filters and Photoshop it looks like we found it.

I also wish to be a strong woman like that who just pedals through life and really does not care about the world but hey, but although I made a substantial progress I’m not sure I’ll ever get there. But who knows?! Maybe if I moved to the countryside, I would care less but I do not think so really. Because the countryside in Holland is actually posh villages with little taste. There are fillers there too and women who even do too much, so I think I would just feel like one way or another I still don’t get where I want.

Doing injectables for me does not have to do with being inauthentic, because not everyone is going for the same look or amount and at this point we made enough progress not to link it with patriarchy. Ok, yes we care about how attractive we are in the eyes of men, but I mean only if you grow up outside society can you not think about being attractive, don’t you think?

I mean we are fed advertising with a spoon. Speaking of which, I saw this cool documentary about Cuba and its ad free policy. In Cuba most businesses are state-owned and the government tightly regulates the media, so there’s little to no space for commercial advertising like billboards, TV commercials or online ads. This creates an environment where people are less bombarded by messages to buy things and beauty and lifestyle standards are shaped more by culture and community than by marketing campaigns.

That’s why you see Cuban women embracing their natural shapes and style rather than constantly chasing a commercial ideal. Honestly, after I saw it I felt jealous that I grew up in this white culture where skinny and young is the norm but I have a couple more doors to open and I know this will help.

Pretty much everyone listens to the smart and very important, pretty woman. One day I want to be on a stage and share all that I learned with others and I am willing to check in some stereotypes, so that the messages gets farthest.

By sharing this piece I feel light. I feel like if it stirs up controversy, it is just what it is. I also feel like if any other woman who reads it will relate I am good and closer to the stage I want to be on. Because when I will be there I will speak hard truths. It is my signature and I take responsibility for bringing this angle up.

Call me a rebel because I am and I might have picked the weak angle of looking at this but at the end of the it’s my body my choice. It’s also my mind and my platform, my money and my maths in search for the things that make me feel good on this journey I’m on. Or maybe I’m not even that much of a rebel and you percieve my text as innocent. It’s true, I didn’t leave the house in a long time. I’m sure more women out there do what they want and don’t ask for permission.

I hope they are smirking while reading this text cause God, all I wish for is more freedom for all of us and a life lived without a care about the voice of the world.